As a perfectionist and a heavy planner, it took me too long to realize that sometimes one needs to intentionally plan things to go a little wrong.

Many times throughout my life, I have heavily planned activities and built them up in my mind just to find myself disappointed when the plan goes askew. However, in retrospect, I have found that the moments I look on most fondly are often the moments where things didn’t quite go as planned. Heavily planning and striving to plan the perfect moment comes from the fear of discomfort, a distrust in one’s ability for improvisation. 

Sometimes, you need to allow yourself to “fly by the seat of your pants” and “be spontaneous” as my mother and friend have often encouraged me to do. One needs to force themselves to be a little uncomfortable in order to have memorable experiences.

Today, we rely too heavily on our phones as an anxiety crutch. We are bold behind screens and then insipid and wishy-washy in person.

If there is a possibility of something going wrong, we don’t take the opportunity. 

Do the things that you find hard to do. Do the things that you think — without a shadow of a doubt — could go wrong. The things that went laughably wrong — those are the things that you will remember and hold dear long from now.

As I near the end of my undergraduate career, I have learned that I have wasted a lot of time not trying out things just because I only thought of what could go wrong if I did. 

Now, all of the memories that I look at most fondly are the opportunities I took that I probably should not have. All of the regrets I carry involve the moments I failed to push myself outside my comfort zone. 

I look fondly on the many times I camped on a school night when I had an exam the next day. I look fondly on the time I ran 4 miles in the 10-degree winter weather at 12 a.m. with friends the night before my Probability Theory final. I look fondly on the time I went backpacking 16 miles while sick. 

I look forward to all the things that will go wrong in the future, things that will push me out of my comfort zone and challenge me to grow.

Intentionally plan things to go a little wrong, and accept the fear that comes with trusting yourself to know how to pivot.