Subway introduced three new Footlong items: a cookie, a churro and a pretzel — but the most exciting thing about them is their size.

The fast-food chain debuted its foot-long cookie in select stores in Chicago, Dallas, Miami and New York for National Cookie Day on Dec. 4. The rest of the sweet and savory snacks were released nationwide Jan. 18.

President of Subway North America, Doug Fry, said, “The introduction of Sidekicks builds on six decades of equity and expertise in all things Footlong.”

He’s not wrong — each item truly was a foot long, give or take. Yet, calling these items “sidekicks” feels like a stretch when they are more like side characters. 

The cookie costs $5, like the Footlong sub used to in 2019, but customers are much better off getting a regular $1 cookie. 

While it has a rich, velvety texture and oodles of chocolate chips, their fresh-baked cookies reign supreme and feel less daunting after downing a sub. Plus, they come in a variety of flavors.

Subway’s original cookies are crispy on the outside and soft in the center, unlike the Footlong, which resembles a pillowy brick.

The Footlong cookies have no crunch whatsoever, which may work in favor of Chips Ahoy chewy cookie lovers, but for serious cookie connoisseurs, the uniform texture makes this dessert feel uninspired.

However, the cookie serves as an epic dessert for dinner moment and is briefly warmed up in the oven.

It’s hard to resist a cookie that big straight from the oven, so if you do attempt this beast, Subway milk is highly recommended to prevent your throat from drying out. 

The Cinnabon Footlong Churro costs a fair $2 and is slightly less bland than the ones at Twisted Taco.

It is baked, not fried, and dusted with Cinnabon’s famous cinnamon sugar. 

The churro is arguably the winner of the three but lacks a sauce — definitely cream cheese — to upgrade its humble, borderline dull flavor profile. 

Subway says the Footlong pretzels are from Auntie Anne’s, the literal authority on what a good pretzel is, but they taste like they were ripped off a tree. 

The pretzel is so dry and burnt-seeming that it is a miracle no one has died from their esophagus closing up.  

If salt is the best part of a food, then that food has some serious issues. 

The pretzel makes a fabulous vehicle for the honey mustard it comes with, but even then, you might as well eat the sauce by itself — it is that unbearable. Save the $3 and get a better pretzel from Sam’s Club.

With three feet of food and only three bites taken, Subway should stick to subs.  

Making a food that’s already long longer doesn’t necessarily translate to making it taste better.

Subway employee Jordan said the pretzel has been the most popular at the location on Farris Road, and his favorite is the churro because he is “a big cinnamon fan.”

“I think it’s just a test run to see, but I would imagine, given how well they’re doing, they would probably stick around,” he said.