5. Pitch Black

There’s an instant loss of points because the soda itself isn’t even black — it’s purple. What started as a limited 2004 Halloween flavor, Pitch Black later became permanent until 2019. Answering the prayers of fans, she returned to us this year. She’s bold, she’s wild, she’s Pitch Black. Mountain Dew markets this flavor as a blast of “Dark Citrus Punch Flavor,” which really doesn’t tell you much, does it? Mountain Dew uses the word “punch” liberally in their descriptions. I don’t think they know what qualifies as “punch,” and I don’t care. I like the fact that Pitch Black can’t be described. It’s part of her mystique. 

4. Baja Mango Gem

In summer 2022, Baja Mango Gem debuted. A year prior, Baja Punch debuted. I swear on everything that Baja Mango Gem is the exact same soda as Baja Punch. Yes, I’ve googled it. If you tell me that Baja Mango Gem is a different soda, I won’t believe you. I only prefer the second rendition because of my affinity for mango-flavored anything since growing up in Florida. I’ve committed to the bit for so long that it feels like a legal obligation to like this soda — even if it tastes nothing like mango. This flavor only beats out Pitch Black because it’s directly affiliated with summertime.

3. Liberty Brew

If you want to talk about not being able to describe the taste of a soda, look no further. Marketed as “50 Different Fruity Flavors,” this soda is like leftover night when your mom throws the ghosts of dinner’s past into a pot on the stove. It’s risky, but sometimes you get an unexpected amalgamation of goodness. This flavor was released during 2019 and 2020 and coincided with the Fourth of July — making it another summertime classic. I haven’t felt like a true American since clutching a can of Liberty Brew while floating somewhere in a crowded lake. I’m certain a few dozen mosquito bites only enhanced the flavor.

2. Baja Blast

Something about Mountain Dew’s summertime flavors have pavloved me into being happy even when it’s 102 degrees outside. My seasonal sadness isn’t dictated by the temperature outside — it’s dictated by the presence of Baja Blast on Walmart shelves. Baja Blast needs no introduction. She’s been on Taco Bell’s menu since 2004 and is no doubt the mother-of-all-flavors in Mountain Dew’s running lineup. One thing that I’m particular about with Baja Blast though, is its need to be in canned or bottled form for peak performance. Taco Bell is great, but you can never bank on the ratio of flavors when Baja Blast comes from the fountain.

1. VooDEW 2021

I’ve been sipping on Mountain Dew since I was a wee babe. I’d say it’s a great American pastime on par with baseball and sitting in the McDonald’s drive-thru. I was in high school when VooDEW 2019 was released and she was a real show-stopper. A Halloween exclusive, it tasted identical to skittles. Come VooDEW 2020, it was the same story. There wasn’t much mystery to the mystery flavor — until VooDEW 2021. The flavor inspiration was revealed as “Fruit Candy Chews” but it was really some strange form of berry-flavored sorcery. I think about her more and more, especially after the citrus-infused disappointment that was VooDEW 2022.