We all know that dreadful question that makes you want to skip every Thanksgiving dinner.
“Do you have a special someone yet?”
No, I don’t. And that’s OK.
As a 20-year-old woman, I’ve been questioned about my relationship status more times than I can count, especially around this time of year.
As Valentine’s Day passed, I reflected on my romantic life and the lack thereof. I’ll out myself real quick; I haven’t had an *official* boyfriend in almost 15 months.
While I used to be embarrassed by my extended period of singleness, I’ve decided to be loud and proud about it.
I’M SINGLE, AND I LIKE IT!
Society has been cramming the idea of women being “housewife material” down our throats since we were little girls, but I want to put an end to this. There are so many more important things for us to strive for, especially at the ripe ages of 18 to 24.
The other day, one of my friends was explaining her five-year plan to me. The first two items on her agenda were 1. Get a boyfriend in 2023 and 2. Be married by 2025.
She’s 20 years old, but her priorities are completely set on getting married.
I’m not bashing her or anyone whose life goals are similar to hers. My aim here is simply to help you see that there’s someone else more important that you should be worrying about — you.
Put your time and effort into YOU. Stop spending valuable time looking for that perfect Bumble profile pic — I’m a Tinder hater, sorry not sorry.
If you’ve always wanted to learn to knit, do it. Learn to do a cartwheel. Try a new skincare routine. Have more girls’ nights. Travel. Go on a walk — lots and lots of walks.
Do things that shape you into the kind of person you admire.
I’m not an expert on self-improvement, but I’m on the same journey as you.
I’m also not saying you should break up with your significant other or completely stop trying to date. In fact, I encourage you to date. Go on many dates and discover what you do and do not like in a partner.
I speak for every woman when I say that we put enormous pressure on ourselves to find love, so much so that we can’t even appreciate the lesson of a relationship that doesn’t work out. We force ourselves to stay with someone we know we aren’t meant to be with because we would rather be unhappy with someone than be alone.
Life is all about trial and error, so don’t be afraid of the errors. But please don’t take away from my main point — it’s OK to be single, it’s OK to spend Friday night with your friends instead of a guy and it’s OK to focus on yourself.
Cue Bebe Rexha’s “Meant to Be” and listen to it about three times; let it sink in.
There may even be a few someones that come and go, or there won’t be. Either way, keep on moving. Continue to grow, adapt, change and learn about yourself every single day.
Be selfish, I beg you. Do more things for yourself, because you’re the only one who gets you through the day, every day.
If you focus on yourself — your career, mindset, and habits — the rest will come on its own.