Picture this: you’re in your room, standing in front of a $15 floor-length mirror from Target — the kind that will inevitably distort your body into ways that make your throat tighten and forces an outfit change. 

You tug at the bottom of your shirt, hoping it will somehow cover the silhouette of your body. The outfit you planned doesn’t sit on your body the way you pictured it in your head — it’s too tight on your stomach, your jeans are too loose, your shoulders too broad and your arms look longer than you remember. 

There’s nothing wrong with your body, you know that deep down. It’s yours, and you love it behind closed doors the way a child would… sheltered from the standards that wait for them as they grow.

In the comfort of your bedroom, your belly pokes out without strain, the imperfect skin on your face breathes freely and your hair frizzes and hangs without discipline. You don’t even notice. 

It’s funny how little your appearance matters under your own eye, but, the minute you step into the perception of others, you hide the version of yourself that only you have the privilege of acquaintance with. The best version of yourself. 

You protect yourself from the anticipated judgmental gaze of the world, without giving the world a chance to accept you as you are. 

Preparing yourself to leave the comfort of your own space, where your body is the ideal beauty standard, feels like a chore when you’re not comfortable in your own skin. 

As you grow to become an individual, you find that you are drawn to a style of clothing that you might not be comfortable mimicking in the real world. It lives in your head as a hopeful “someday,” but you have never mustered the courage to wear the top that collects dust in the back of your closet. 

This isn’t about forcing yourself to wear clothes that make you uncomfortable. This is about feeling comfortable presenting yourself to the world in its raw form. That’s not easy to do, but it is necessary for the relationship you have with yourself. 

You have to start by understanding where these insecurities stem from. We are not born knowing that we don’t fit society’s standards. We are socialized to believe this. 

We suffer from society’s attempts to push fatphobic rhetoric and ethnocentric beauty standards. Any insecurity you have is likely rooted in that. 

Recognize that by filtering yourself through these impossible standards, you are falling victim to a system that only seeks to benefit a patriarchal society, even if you are a man, even if you are nonbinary. 

You do not need to make yourself more palatable for the acceptance of others. All that is required of you is an acceptance of yourself and of those around you. 

You must also acknowledge that your body was not made to fit into a numerical sizing standard. It is unlikely that you’ll ever fit into the jeans you wore in high school again. As harsh as it may sound, who cares? You were a different person then, and your body has grown and changed to reflect that.

Clothes are made to fit your body, not the other way around. The number on your clothing does not reflect your worth or your desirability unless you allow it to. 

I don’t know a single person who isn’t insecure in some way. Yet, we all brace ourselves for a harsh verdict. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’m too busy worrying about myself to critique random strangers as they pass me by. In reality, no one cares what you look like. 

Life is too short to prioritize the opinions of others above your own happiness. Let the world meet your favorite version of yourself.