You’ve probably asked yourself the question, “How do others perceive me?” This question can lead you to wonder, “Is there something I could do to be better?” 

The trick I’m about to tell you will serve you better than three self-help books combined. There is no grand sequence of actions or set of rules that will help you more than this tip. Being a better human is simple — listen more. 

By listening, I mean actively listening. Active listening is a crucial skill that can guide you in becoming a better human. It is about giving someone your full attention. With so many distractions, this task can be tremendously difficult. 

To fully listen to someone you must understand them, not just respond. 

In a world where you can listen to hundreds of TikToks in minutes and not remember a single one of them, flipping the switch to active listening can seem impossible.

Social media has made us good at only halfway listening. I’m not arguing you should be on social media less to be a better listener. I’m saying you should be mindful when switching your focus from social media to a conversation, especially if you are talking while looking at your phone. I guarantee you will not have a single meaningful, in-person conversation while on your phone. 

The work doesn’t end after you switch your focus away from the digital world. Try to empty your mind and control the impulse to share your thoughts immediately. I am guilty of talking first and talking often, but there’s an undeniable power that comes from waiting to talk until you’ve heard someone out. Being the last to talk gives you the power to frame and direct the conversation in ways you wouldn’t be able to if you were waiting on someone’s response.

The three A’s of active listening are attitude, attention and adjustment. Don’t enter a conversation expecting to know exactly how it’s going to play out. For instance, the attitude of, “This conversation will be boring” will not help you understand someone. Try to adopt an attitude of open-mindedness, and realize everyone has something unique to offer.

Keeping attentive by making eye contact and gesturing through body language, like nods or different faces at appropriate times, will propel the conversation. You can further any interaction merely with your attention.

Make adjustments in your body language and commentary whenever appropriate to get the most out of a conversation. Questions are the most powerful adjustment tools you can use while active listening. Asking questions not only proves you are listening effectively, but it communicates you want the speaker to continue to share with you.

The next time you have a conversation with a good friend, family member, or a group of people, pay attention to how much you are talking. Try to just actively listen. By listening more, you will have a more meaningful conversation. Meaningful conversations help strengthen connections and mutual understanding. Stronger connections and understanding will make you a better, more empathetic human being.