When you decide to go to college, you mentally prepare yourself for all the stress and anxiety you will endure over the next four years. Fresh out of high school, you enter a brand new atmosphere hoping to obtain knowledge and experience in your desired field.
What you might not expect to encounter is the all-encompassing feeling of impostor syndrome.
Impostor syndrome is a funny thing. It sneaks up on you when you least expect it. In my experience, the feelings of inadequacy creep their way into my thoughts when I’m alone, struggling with an assignment or thinking about my future. I look around a room of my peers and feel like I’m falling behind or out of place. They seem to have it all figured out, but in reality, these feelings stem from my insecurities.
If you suffer from impostor syndrome, any positive feedback you receive may come as a surprise. You probably spent an outrageous amount of time on the assignment, turned it in and anxiously awaited a negative response. Even worse than that would be no response at all. The thought of mediocrity stings worse than failure because at least failure is worth talking about.
More people feel this way than it seems, but it’s impossible to thrive in an educational environment when you’re constantly doubting and comparing yourself, especially if your field of study involves innovative or creative thinking.
In journalism, filmmaking, art or writing, impostor syndrome makes you compare your work to that of your classmates. You feel like a fraud when completing any assignment because you don’t think it will reach the level your peers are on, even if you typically perform well.
Scholarships, internships and awards feel as if they aren’t within your reach, but why? What makes you think you aren’t capable of achieving the same things as your peers? It boils down to self-doubt, and you have to take control of it before it holds you back.
I had to learn this the hard way, and I am still struggling to catch up because of it. No one can give you the kind of support you can give yourself.
Constantly relying on the opinion of others to validate your work will not make you any less insecure, it will only make you more dependent on positive criticism. If you are dependent on something not guaranteed, then how will you react when you don’t receive it?
To tame the monster of impostor syndrome, you must first accept the fact everyone is on a unique path. Your classmates might have achieved more than you in this present moment, but you are not living on the same timeline. You are different people with different goals. Find what works for you and focus on that, instead of making yourself feel inferior.
Self-doubt will kill your creative expression. It leads to overthinking, exhaustion and anxiety.
Exhaustion and anxiety breed these negative ideas in your mind. To combat this, you have to set aside time for yourself. I don’t mean time to watch TV or scroll through social media, though there’s nothing wrong with that.
I mean you have to create or write or paint or sketch for yourself, with no intention of it ever seeing the eyes of the world. Aside from it being therapeutic, it helps you appreciate everything you are capable of when not trying to frame yourself in the best light. It’s your unposed, unfiltered creativity and everyone else can see how great it is. You are the only one with doubts.
I promise you belong right where you are. Speak up in class, voice your opinion and be wrong, paint something hideous and turn it in anyway; choose a topic you aren’t familiar with and write something you don’t understand. Do anything, but don’t give up on yourself.
In the future, when you get on the other side of feeling like the smallest person in every room, you’ll thank yourself for fighting through it.
Life and learning can be so rewarding when you appreciate the effort you put into them.