For the perpetually disappointed girls, drowning in a puddle of their own tears and screaming the lyrics to an Olivia Rodrigo song —  block his number. 

There is not a person on this green earth who could convince me that keeping in contact with ex-flings is anything but a horribly self-destructive act. I’ve heard it all, the whining about not wanting to burn bridges, about wanting to stay in his life and not be alone.

Listen, you’re creating problems for yourself while exhausting the people who truly care about you.

All those hours of texting your closest friends, detailing the heartbreak, the disappointment, the extent to which he disrespected you — and God! Your friends are patient; I know mine are. 

Then he texts, what do you do? With rosy cheeks, you kick your feet, cross your heart, and thank the heavens you’re so lucky. 

But why entertain someone that makes you feel horrible about yourself? Do not abuse your limited reserves of patience and kindness in a relationship that makes you feel hard to love. 

There are no excuses. Put yourself first, and block his number.

This advice is intimidating. When I first heard it I scoffed at the idea. Perhaps the idea of prioritizing your own mental and physical well-being is an alien one. That’s okay, we aren’t all gurus of self-love.

Look at it from this perspective — are you embarrassing yourself?

For humor and the sake of a persuasive argument, I’ll tell you it took me being dumped by the same guy three consecutive times to finally hit that block button. 

How foolish can you get? The rose-colored glasses aren’t that effective, right?

Humiliation aside, I nearly choked when he texted that he wanted to remain friends. 

It dawned on me that moment; I am not your friend. You do not respect me. 

I will not be your cheerleader, the girl you send funny TikToks to, your emotional mule or an ego boost any longer. 

You are a stranger to me now, because the person I thought you were does not exist.

My experience is not insular. In my 20 years of existence, I’ve heard the same story told a million different ways.

If he won’t stop staring at the exit sign, let him leave. Slam the door on his way out. 

There is absolutely no use in keeping someone around who doesn’t want you.

It may hurt, and you may miss him, but I promise, no contact is the only way to go. Don’t humiliate yourself because you thought not setting boundaries might make him want you. 

I promise if he wanted to, he would— and he doesn’t! So give it up.

You have to stop touching a wound for it to heal. 

By removing him from your life, you are freeing up space to grow. His negative energy keeps you clutched like a rose in his hand— never letting you bloom.

You deserve to blossom, and you’ve got to get out of that man’s grip on you to do it. 

You should not change who you are just because someone plays you. Continue being a sweet hopeless romantic who gets excited about silly crushes. But please, do not pour your pure energy and intentions into a man who has shown you he’ll just throw it out. Instead, fill up people who appreciate your effort and reciprocate it. Then, you might finally feel the love you deserve.