1. Harry Styles: NOT
OK, I went to the concert. I missed a class to buy the tickets. As a former Directioner, attending was definitely some type of inner child wish fulfilled. Screaming and crying during “Sign of the Times,” I realized what a charming solo debut it was. The only Grammy winner with “Watermelon Sugar,” he’s also the youngest of the group. As the former frontman of 1D, Harry’s solo career also takes center stage in pop culture. He objectively gets the most attention and money of all the other members and he tours like crazy. He’s also the only movie star, but let’s put a pin in that while he’s ahead.
2. Niall Horan: NOT
When I was around 10 years old, I loved this Irish dude as much as he loved Nando’s. Since then, he’s delivered some pretty OK music to the mainstream. His “Slow Hands” is catchy, but might haunt those of us who have had service jobs, like Harry’s overplayed “Watermelon Sugar.” Also, “This Town” was a delightful debut single; its folksy feel and raw lyrics demonstrate quite a different approach from 1D’s sound. If he sticks to this, I expect more-than-tolerable hits in his 2023 album and fun concerts from his tour. He’s maintained a low profile with no controversy and little to no beef with his former bandmates.
3. Louis Tomlinson: FLOP
Louis’ music is truly devoid of much charm, but I would rather his music get streams than Liam’s. His solo debut singles were worrying, with some dreadful synth-pop and EDM. I was worried he might take Liam’s route until he finally released a debut album called “Walls” in 2020, a forgettable, basic coffee shop album about youth or something. Still, you can tell he’s at least trying to make something meaningful with the amazing amount of resources his boy band career has given him. His new album seems to be a little stronger, and it actually reflects some unique sound and style, unlike anything Liam has done.
4. Liam Payne: FLOP
If One Direction was a loaf of bread, Liam would have been the heel. His solo album debut, named “LP1,” should have stayed “LP0.” Liam’s most successful songs are nothing but horny gimmicks. I’ve had such little exposure to Liam’s solo music beyond the controversy behind the fetishistic “Both Ways,” a song about a threesome with a bisexual woman, that I had to spend time researching and trying to stomach other “hits.” They include what I can only assume was written to be a grinding anthem, “Strip That Down” with Quavo, and the bizarre “Naughty List” with Dixie D’Amelio. Liam’s recent public comments about the band also reek of clout-chasing behavior.
5. Zayn Malik: FLOP
My fifth-grade self would be devastated by this ranking. Zayn’s range and falsetto have always made him a solid singer. His vocals provided him with great solo success with occasionally good pop ballads. Mostly basic and overproduced, his albums had occasional glimmers of hope, like “iT’s YoU,” a devastatingly beautiful example of his angelic voice. He’s not an angel though. As the first to leave the band, he trashed 1D’s music right after! Also, his conflict with Gigi Hadid’s mom, his child’s grandmother, is serious. I’m just not interested in anything he’s done now, so he would only make No. 1 if this were an “(allegedly) striking your girlfriend’s mom” competition.