When I first came to UCA I put a lot of my own value and self-worth into numbers and letters — Grades, GPA and scholarship money. 

I couldn’t handle a bad grade; I would let it consume me. I would obsess over if the work I was doing was good enough to the point where I struggled to get assignments finished until the last minute. 

I would overperform and put my mental and physical health aside to make sure I was being the model student, and to me that used to be everything. 

Despite this, I still tried to make time for friends, working out and family. It was a struggle and sometimes I couldn’t find the time, but I thought that was the way it was supposed to be.

I was only in my second semester at UCA when the pandemic hit. I moved back home, and suddenly my life was completely different.

Although it brought more free time, I struggled in school in a way I never had. My grades slipped, my content retention suffered and I struggled with my mental health daily. 

With all of the worth I had put into good grades, a high GPA and my full ride, I went into a deep depressive state and my anxiety heightened.

I felt like I had lost myself and the experience I worked so hard in the past to have. It was a struggle to comprehend that this was how it was. I could never get that time back.

I slipped further and further into a hole of despair that carried throughout my sophomore and junior year, but it all came to a head at the beginning of 2021 when my boyfriend’s father died unexpectedly. 

I had to put my own mental health aside and care for my boyfriend and his family during this hard time, and little did I know this was what I needed. 

Getting out of my own head with the dooms of my schooling, put into perspective the elements of life that truly matter and that we tend to put on the back burner. People matter.

Your family matters. Your friends matter. Anyone you love or care for matters, and you never know when they might not be with you anymore. 

My priorities and ideas of self-worth began to change. I started putting my family first, making sure they were OK and spending quality time with them, even if it meant spending less time on an assignment. 

I made sure to make time for myself. I spent more time cooking homemade meals, rather than eating out to have more time to work on other things. I spent time working out and making sure my place was clean.

And of course, I made time to hang out with my friends, whether it be watching a movie night or just having a quick chat over dinner. 

I began to realize just how much taking care of myself and my relationships mattered to my mental health. 

I was more than just a number. I was more than a grade. I was more than my GPA. I had been successful before and knew I could be again. But, I couldn’t be anything without the support and care for myself and those I love. I wouldn’t change a thing I’ve done since living this way. 

I am immensely grateful for this lesson that UCA indirectly provided me, because I truly don’t know where I’d be without this realization and a newfound sense of self. 

I want to remind others: take time for those you love and take time for yourself. Not a day will go by where you regret it.