College is weird.

One day, you’re living with your parents, opening the fridge and knowing there will be food inside. Next, you’re having to sleep next to a stranger who eats all of your peanut butter crackers without asking. 

I don’t think anything can prepare someone for what college really is; there is truly no way to explain how certain things play out the way they do.

How did babysitting gigs amount to enough money to financially support me throughout my college career?

How did my body function on just peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and pasta noodles for the last four years?

How did I manage the stress of situationships on top of my academic responsibilities?

How did the relationship with my mother turn around for the better once I left the nest?

How did I, a public relations major, become friends with half of the nursing students on campus when I have never stepped foot in the Integrated Health Sciences building?

I’m convinced some things are just not meant to be understood. There are a few things that are certain, however. There will always be someone in the lab to cry with you at midnight the night before a big assignment is due. 

There will always be that one professor who you wish could teach you forever and that one who seems to have the goal to set you up for nothing but failure. There will always be something on campus you never knew of or heard about in all the years you attended.

There will always be that one person you wished you had the courage to talk to or ask more questions about. There will always be those moments of regret, telling yourself college was a scam and leaving you longing for something more. There will always be an excuse to say “I have time.”

Until you don’t. I no longer have time. I no longer have time to put off adulthood, to figure things out, to find a big girl job or time for anything, really.

College was best at keeping me busy and my mind occupied as there was always something to do.

But what now? Besides me being able to look at a clock and my stomach not drop when I see 11:59 p.m. 

Who the hell knows.