As longtime stunt choreographer and coordinator Jonathan Esuebio’s directorial debut, “Love Hurts” has little to offer outside of action.
Best known for his stunts in “The Fall Guy,” “Black Panther” and “John Wick,” Esuebio’s Valentine’s Day-themed action comedy promised to pack a punch, but with only five heart-pounding action scenes to excite the 83-minute runtime, the flimsy film flounders.
“Love Hurts” begins as an average day for happy-go-lucky realtor Marvin Gable (Ke Huy Quan). Biking from house to house and baking homemade cookies, Marvin is endearing and wholesome. That is until his dark past as an assassin for “The Company,” catches up to him.
As Marvin dives back into a world of crime, violence and love, the film also takes a dive — one riddled with pointless characters, poor acting and an ill-paced plot.
The Company is led by Marvin’s brother, Knuckles (Daniel Wu), who has sent goons to capture Marvin after failing to terminate the gang’s thieving lawyer, Rose (Ariana DeBose) because he is madly in love with her. What follows is a brotherly feud and a fight for true love. Simple enough, right? Wrong.
The story is disinteresting and straightforward, yet oddly complicated by its poor narrative progression.
In stealing two million dollars from Knuckles, Rose has partnered with other Company members Merlo (Cam Gigandet), Otis (André Eriksen) and King (Marshawn Lynch). However, there is a double-cross in which Rose is framed by Merlo with the help of an additional member, Kippy (Rhys Darby), plus they actually stole four million dollars instead of two. Confused yet?
Masquerading as a crime thriller satire, “Love Hurts” delivers twist after twist in an attempt to create excitement and intrigue. Instead, all the film manages to do is yo-yo its viewers from scene to scene — most of which are dedicated to pointless gags and painful romance rather than to the story.
There is hardly any chemistry between Quan and DeBose making the film’s central romance feel forced and insanely awkward. Marvin’s internal struggle between his new life as a realtor and his old life as Rose’s partner holds no weight.
As the film progresses, Marvin’s new life and his mild-mannered nature — the most charming aspect of the film — feel forgotten, only retrieved when they’re needed to set up a new joke. Instead, Quan harnesses a strange, unconvincing “bad boy” persona that is encouraged by Rose and used to justify his violent actions.
The best parts of the movie are Esuebio’s fight scenes. They are impressive and insanely creative. There’s a scene where Otis and King shove Marvin into his refrigerator and then chunk the fridge across the kitchen. Another is where Knuckles kills a man with a boba straw and steals his cowboy hat. These sequences are the lifeblood of “Love Hurts,” but sadly appear too few and far between.
It seems as if the film gets lost in its attempt at satire. Where it should have leaned into the goofy, exhilarating action-comedy aspect, it focuses on complicating a narrative that should have been incredibly simple with side plots and drawn-out jokes. Unfortunately, “Love Hurts” feels like a wanna-be-“Bullet Train” and, having only made $5.8 million domestically in its opening weekend, probably could have gone straight to streaming.
“Love Hurts” released Feb. 7 and is in theaters now.