As an introvert with a neutral resting face, I hear it all the time: “Are you okay?”, “I thought you hated me when we first met,” “You need to smile more, sweetheart!” — the list goes on. 

While it is common in Southern American culture to attempt to try to mediate your expressions so they are well-received by those around you, I find this practice to be ingenuine. 

This is not to say that I do not believe people should make an effort to be friendly to one another, as some of my favorite people are incredibly enthusiastic and smiley people. 

However, I don’t think it should be frowned upon to be a person who expresses emotion more subtly.

There are many benefits to regulating what comes out of your mouth and what shows on your face.

At times, the smartest decision a person can make is to be quiet. 

Many people in a conversation are simply waiting for their turn to speak and are not necessarily actively listening to what the other people are saying. 

Allowing yourself to be quiet allows you to put more emphasis on listening to other people, and it forces you to be observant.

This trait is also valuable because it allows you to put thought into formulating a meaningful idea and express this thought with care and tact. 

Knowing when to speak is also good because it forces you to put a lot of care into formulating thoughts that you mean and have value.

Building on this, I think that when you speak or emote less and more thoughtfully, when you do choose to be expressive or share a thought, it carries more weight and meaning to people.

Superficial words repeated over and over lack all meaning to a person, but a genuine, thoughtful declaration can stick in somebody’s mind for the rest of their life.

The rare things in this world get treasured more, whether it be an albino alligator, a genuine belly laugh or an authentic, kind word.

As a person of few words and expressions, I put a lot of value into the words that I say and the emotions I choose to display.

Because of this, though, I find myself hurt when people assume that because I may show my emotion more subtly, this means that I am disinterested, unthinking or rude.

Society sees being stoic and quiet as a negative trait, particularly for women.

When a man is quiet and serious, he is thought of as cool and mysterious; however, when a woman chooses to be quiet or serious, it is seen as unsettling or “bitchy.” 

When I worked as a cashier back in high school, I frequently found myself uncomfortable when the men who came through my line would tell me to smile for them.

In one instance, an older gentleman even refused to pay for his groceries until I momentarily pulled my mask down to smile for him.

Nobody should be made to smile when they don’t want to.

So, don’t ask me to smile for you.