There is a big difference between being a person who is self-interested and being a person who is selfish.

Being selfish is only caring about yourself and doing whatever you feel is necessary to get what you want, even if that means at the expense of another person. Not cool.

Being self-interested is looking out for your own personal benefit but also at the effect that it would have on others. Totally cool.

Looking at the impact of your decisions on another person is a big deal, but a huge part of being self-interested ties into self-care and really loving yourself. 

Without taking proper care of yourself, you cannot possibly try to consider the care of others. Having your own thoughts put first is healthy and it really is OK. 

Being a people pleaser myself, I often feel that I have to put others’ needs before my own. This isn’t the case. 

People say it all the time, but you simply cannot pour from an empty cup. You have to fill your own to the top first. Allowing yourself to care for your own individual needs is the priority. 

This self-interest is what allows you to worry about other people’s individual concerns. 

I have spent a lot of time alongside other people worrying about their situations and how a problem will be resolved. 

Then, I faced the consequence of not knowing what to do in my own situation with a lack of time and/or resources to deal with it.

By placing them before myself, I am limiting my own ability to problem solve, ultimately causing my own problems later on. Don’t allow yourself to do that. 

You are your own responsibility and that includes your own issues. Of course, it is OK to ask for help if you are struggling. 

However, it is not OK for that other person to completely absorb themselves in your issues. This isn’t what you should want them to do, or something that you would want to do if the roles were reversed. 

Allowing yourself to be self-interested sparks the possibility for positive growth. 

Being self-interested allows you to create goals for yourself and create a positive space for yourself that will help you accomplish many goals. 

By setting yourself up for success, you are more likely to achieve it.

Become the go-getter that you need to become. It may seem like it, but I promise it isn’t selfish to really put yourself out there for your needs. 

You are valuable and you deserve to do what you believe is helpful toward your end goal. 

Go out there and get yourself a plan for what you need to do. 

Go ask for the job, figure out what you want to do for a career in life, figure out what groups of people you want to be around or what types of things you want to associate yourself with. Make the to-do list. Big or small, these goals really will help you. 

In a world where many people compete for survival in all aspects of life, it is in your best interest to look at how you can increase your chances of survival and success.